I’m usually behind the curve, and I’m ok with that. KonMari: The Magical Art of Tidying Up was a smashing success and all the rage a few years ago. I didn’t jump on the KonMari wagon at that point. Recently, I became acquainted with the KonMari method, while listening to an audiobook version of Marie Kondo’s popular title. Like many others, I’m always on the look out for better organization and cleaning (aka tidying) tips, to improve or enhance my quality of life. Reading about the KonMari method presented to me seven magical aha moments, and one aw, hell no deal breaker.

I didn’t really select the book because it was on my TBR list, but was, in fact, still exploring the benefits of my new audiobook account through the Libby App. I just needed something to listen to while spending hours upon hours removing wall paper and painting. KonMari piqued my interest, so I downloaded and away we went on a magical tidying journey.

 

Marie Kondo

 

My first impression of the author was not so favorable. In fact, her description of her childhood interests is pretty troubling! According to Marie Kondo, she’s been a neat freak and cleaning expert since the age of five. Say what? But, perhaps her childhood was a typical cultural experience that I’m not familiar with in my own upbringing. However, she made numerous references to her childhood organizing and cleaning experiences, including her Power Saving game, her affinity for food and home decor magazines, and her borderline obsessive cleaning routines. Let’s just say, she was a different kind of child than any I’ve encountered.

Nevertheless, there were enough gems throughout the listening event, to get me through the sheer boredom of wall paper removal and provide me with Seven Magical Tips and one hell, no, deal breaker. The same weekend that I was listening to KonMari, I stood at my pantry foraging for a snack, and encountered The Rice Crispy Box. So what you say? Just some cereal? Yeah, but this one had the Olympic decorations on it. And it’s August, people. When was the last Olympics? I don’t even want to know. Was it Summer Olympics or Winter Olympics? Again, I don’t even want to know. But it hit me then, I could use a little KonMari method in my life.

 

Seven Magical KonMari Method Tips

 

1. Tidy a little each day and you’ll be tidying forever.

 

I get that, I really do. To have the KonMari impact become a life changing magical experience, it has to be a radical event followed up by well, a changed life. In layman’s terms, this is the never getting caught up feeling most of us experience. Coming home each night to more of the same picking up and putting away is a time suck and physically and emotionally draining. The KonMari method is like major SURGERY. Her approach is to literally clean out every space in a basic hurricane or natural disaster style, hauling away trash bags full of no longer needed or wanted items all at once.

 

 2. Storage experts are Hoarders.

 

I have long considered this true, and now I feel completely validated. I don’t understand the “investment” mentality of walls of storage bins and machines that suck the air out of bags so you can stack 20 quilts on a closet shelf or shove under a bed. Could it be possible you don’t need ALL that stuff? What about the rented storage units? I am not opposed to them entirely, I understand, sometimes you have to downsize, they are necessary during a transition, but they aren’t an extension of your house! Why would you pay to store stuff that’s so “extra” you don’t ever use it?

 

3.  Does it Spark Joy? 

 

Now, I like this one. I have no problem looking at items in my home and analyzing them through the criteria set forth. My problem is, some of the things that truly bring me joy, have little purpose. Such as the cement baby head…more on that later maybe. This benchmark reminded me of the William Morris quote, “Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” I think I can operate with the Spark Joy test and use it to remove unnecessary or unwanted items.

 

 

4. Starting with mementos spells failure.

 

Yup, no surprise in this one. How many times have I started to tidy up aka clean house, and gotten side tracked by photo albums, stacks of cards, notes and other squirreled away souvenirs and mementoes. Survey says, PLENTY! I tend to not finish what I start because of it. Additionally, I get bogged down in wondering what to keep, how to organize it, and where it should be stored. Nothing magical about how frustrating this is. So follow the KonMari method lead on this one and start with something you’re not so emotionally invested in, say, the pantry and the Rice Krispy boxes.

 

5. What you don’t need, your family doesn’t either

 

That’s a pretty awkward summary of her thoughts on regifting. How many times have you either cleaned out items and rehomed them to an unsuspecting family member? Or, conversely, have you been gifted with unneeded, not your style, only lightly used items? Typically, the jacket you always receive compliments on is NOT the one you’re giving up. Instead, it’s the one that never felt right on you, doesn’t spark any joy or admiration when you wear it, and won’t be missed. Three strikes doesn’t add up to “your sister will love it!” Too often, family members accept these closet cast-offs politely, and then spend the next 3-5 years wondering if the gifting relative will notice it hasn’t been worn or used. To any family members reading this, I promise not to regift all the crap  cool stuff I won’t be keeping.

 

6. Designate a Specific Place for Everything

 

Marie Kondo discusses her “beautiful life” before digging into the designation of a place for every thing in her home. She outlines her afternoon ritual of returning from work, placing every item in a specific location in her home, while thanking it for the service it provided. Two things here: I don’t tell my purse thank you every day for holding my stuff.  Likewise, I don’t thank my shoes, my jacket, my shirt…basically no shout outs are given to my stuff when I get home.  I only like the designate a specific place idea so much because I think it is going to cut down on the “where the hell are my keys and badge” mornings. I think I will regain HOURS of my life if I no longer have to search for everyday items I have misplaced because they don’t have a designated location.

 

7. Magical Effect of a Tidy House

 

I do believe that there are lasting benefits to the tenets of the KonMari method. Obviously, less stuff equals less stuff to clean, keep up with, move around, organize, and fret over in general. A perpetually tidy home, with a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, is exceptionally appealing. Just imagine the confidence and calm that would be conveyed daily. The idea of cutting loose of emotional baggage (anyone still hanging on to a wedding dress that has outlasted the marriage?) is positively liberating! Mental energy spent on repeating the same cleaning tasks over and over can now be applied to more interesting pursuits. (BLOGGING!) And I do think that a newfound appreciation for those lovingly curated, joy sparking possessions will develop through this process.

Will I be attempting to “KonMari” my life? Marie Kondo insists this process must take place in the fashion of ripping of a bandage, sudden and traumatic, to my thinking. I understand, doing it in fits and starts is not going to accomplish anything in the long run. BUT, who wants to spend their vacation dumping out the contents of closets, drawers, cabinets and attics? I’m going to apply some of the theories outlined above, but I don’t foresee a total house makeover in a one week period.

Now read on as the horror of the deal breaker is revealed!

 

THE DEAL BREAKER

 

I had no problem with how Marie Kondo handled getting rid of stuff. For the most part, everything went into bags to go to donation or recycling centers. Some items even went straight to a landfill. No shame here, I could probably fill a trash bag cleaning out drawers and finally discarding broken toys and the like. If it’s possible to reuse or recycle, those are my first options. But let’s face it, some things just need to go into the trash.

However, what nearly sent me over the edge was Marie Kondo’s solution for dealing with books. (As if a person could have too many, right?) Granted, I’m a book collector, NOT to be confused with a book hoarder. Fine line, I know. My passion, your poison and all that. Marie spends time describing how she dealt with her own books as she refined her KonMari methods. First, she decided to discard books she had already read. But she wanted to remember or keep any quotes or important passages. She began copying these into a notebook, but realized this would be too time intensive. Then, she decided to make a photocopy of the pages she wanted to keep. Quickly this became also became a time suck, in her opinion. SO SHE DECIDED TO TEAR OUT THE PAGES SHE WANTED TO KEEP….

WHAT??

Yep, she decided to tear pages out of a perfectly good book. I just about came unglued. Total dealbreaker. NOT COOL, MARIE KONDO!!!  This is just a stupid, destructive idea. What was she thinking?? I can’t even fathom. I made it through to the end of the book, but really lost respect. Perhaps she will come to see the error of her thinking and publish a revised edition someday. One where she doesn’t advocate for the destruction of books. In the meantime, I’ll be over here talking to my books. Because, yeah they completely spark joy in my life.